“Grief is Not Madness 🤯: Demystifying Mental Health 🧘♀️and Loss in African Context 🧠”
What if; You lose someone close to you. The pain is unbearable, but instead of support, you hear things like “Be strong.” “It is God’s will.” “Men don’t cry.” “Life must go on.”. It does not really help to solve the issue I guess.
In many African communities, grief and mental health struggles are often misunderstood. Talking about depression? You might be called “weak.” Seeking therapy? Some might say, “Do you think you’re white?” The reality is, mental health issues and grief are real, universal experiences, not only a Western concept, not a sign of spiritual weakness, and definitely not madness.
This article breaks down the stigma, the science, and the solutions around grief and mental health so we can heal, grow, and support each other better. Take a seat, a drink and enjoy the rest of the article.
Why is Mental Health So Taboo in Many African Communities? 🤷♀️
Mental health is often dismissed in African culture. The idea of “suffering in silence” is deeply ingrained. It is something normal to manage our struggles alone, or try to simplify it although the pain is unbearable. but why?
1. The “Strong African” Stereotype 💪🏿🏋🏿♀️
From a young age, many Africans (especially men) are taught that strength means silence. Crying is shameful, showing your feelings and pain is weakness. But science and experience says otherwise suppressing grief increases the risk of depression, anxiety, and even physical illnesses (Bonanno, 2004).
2. Spirituality vs. Science: “Pray It Away” 🙏🏿🧠
Many believe mental health issues are spiritual attacks caused by tat uncle in the village that does not like you (witchcraft), generational curses, or a test from God. While faith can be a powerful source of comfort, it should not replace therapy or professional help. Studies show that combining faith with mental health treatment leads to better recovery (Koenig, 2012).
3. Fear of “Madness” 😫
In many African cultures, mental health issues are equated with insanity. Words like “mad,” “possessed,” or “crazy” are often used to describe anyone struggling emotionally. This prevents people from seeking help until it’s too late. When you tell people you are going through depression after a grief or a traumatic experience some people will just say " This guy/girl is already mad, he/she will soon start walking naked over the streets.
Grief is often rushed. Mourn for a few weeks, then get back to work, take care of your family, and act normal. But research shows that unprocessed grief can lead to prolonged grief disorder, PTSD, and emotional numbness (Shear et al., 2011).
Take the Quiz: How Do You Handle Grief? 🧠✅
How do you react to loss? Answer these questions:
- Do you bottle up your emotions instead of talking about them?
- Do you feel guilty for grieving “too long”?
- Have you ever been told to just “move on” after a loss?
- Do you believe grief should be handled alone, without therapy or external help?
- Do you feel pressure to appear “strong” even when you’re breaking inside?
Results:
- 0-1 Yes: You likely have a healthy approach to grief.
- 2-3 Yes: You may be struggling with societal expectations around grief.
- 4-5 Yes: Your grief process might be heavily influenced by cultural stigmas—it's time to rethink how you heal.
Grief and Mental Health: What Science Says 👨🏿⚕️
1. Grief is Not Linear 🙅♀️
Forget the “5 Stages of Grief” myth. Studies show grief is not a straight path, it comes in waves, sometimes unexpectedly, even years later (Stroebe & Schut, 1999). You are not a machine, hence your feelings tends to express depending on your personal circumstances. Don't just ignore your feelings.
2. Grief Affects the Body, Too 🤢
- Grief can weaken the immune system. Not only grief but all the negative emotions that surrounds it.
- It can increase the risk of heart disease and high blood pressure (Buckley et al., 2012).
- It can cause chronic fatigue, digestive issues, and headaches. You know that feeling of having a heavy "stone" in your stomach and whatever you do, it seems to drain all your energy.
3. Talking Helps, A Lot 🗣
Research shows that talking about grief reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety (Currier et al., 2008). Whether it’s a trusted friend, therapist, or support group, voicing emotions is a powerful tool for healing. It must be with that friend tat always bring you to drink alcohol to run away from your issues. Think twice.
How Do We Change the Narrative Around Mental Health & Grief in Africa? 🤷♀️⚖
1. Let’s Normalize Therapy ✅
Therapy is not a “white people thing.” Mental health professionals exist across Africa and within the diaspora. Therapy helps unpack emotions, break generational trauma, and teach coping strategies.
✔️ Do: Encourage open conversations about mental health in families.
❌ Don’t: Dismiss someone’s pain as “just overthinking.”
2. Support, Don’t Silence 💖
If someone is grieving, don’t rush them. Instead of saying, “Move on,” try:
- “I’m here for you.”
- “It’s okay to feel this way.”
- “Let’s talk when you’re ready.”
✔️ Do: Check in on grieving friends and family—months after the funeral, not just during.
❌ Don’t: Avoid the topic because it makes you uncomfortable.
3. Blend Culture with Mental Health 💪🏿❤
Many African traditions include rituals for grieving—but they’re often rushed or skipped due to modern life. Reconnecting with cultural grieving processes (without the stigma) can be healing.
✔️ Do: Incorporate both spiritual and psychological healing.
❌ Don’t: Use religion as an excuse to avoid therapy. God is not a mental health professional even if he can heal all our troubles.
4. Teach Emotional Intelligence from Childhood 🧠💖
Children and especially young boys should be taught that crying is okay. Expressing emotions is normal. Seeking help is strength. If we change the way future generations view mental health, we break the cycle. The problem is never the emotions but how to deal with and the support around that.
✔️ Do: Encourage kids to talk about their feelings.
❌ Don’t: Say “Boys don’t cry” or “Big girls don’t get sad.”
Final Thought: Strength is in Healing, Not in Silence 🧘♀️🏋🏿♀️
African culture is built on resilience, community, and storytelling. It’s time we rewrite the story about grief and mental health. It’s not weak to grieve. It’s not weak to talk. And it’s definitely not weak to heal. We often say that, no matter how many times you fall, the most important is how many times to get back on your feet.
So, whether you’ve experienced loss or know someone who has, be the change. Ask questions. Offer support. Challenge the stigma. Because mental health is not a Western problem, it’s a human one.
What’s Your Experience?
Have you struggled with grief in a culture that didn’t understand? Or do you know someone who has? Let’s start the conversation. Drop your thoughts in the comments.
References
- Bonanno, G. A. (2004). Loss, trauma, and human resilience. American Psychologist, 59(1), 20-28.
- Buckley, T., et al. (2012). The impact of bereavement on cardiovascular outcomes. Heart, Lung and Circulation, 21(2), 73-78.
- Currier, J. M., Holland, J. M., & Neimeyer, R. A. (2008). The effectiveness of grief therapy. Clinical Psychology Review, 28(6), 820-838.
- Koenig, H. G. (2012). Religion, spirituality, and health. International Journal of Psychiatry in Medicine, 43(2), 119-134.
- Shear, M. K., et al. (2011). Prolonged grief disorder. Depression and Anxiety, 28(2), 103-117.
- Stroebe, M., & Schut, H. (1999). The dual process model of coping with bereavement. Death Studies, 23(3), 197-224.
